I recently met with one of my apprentices from the AMP program, and the discussion turned towards submission and ‘being in service’. I was amazed to find out that in her mind they were one and the same. She told me that such is the impression and understanding of many people, and that ‘being in service’ equals being submissive. This discovery led our discussion down a road that I had not planned on, but … I beg to differ – a lot.
Contrary to popular belief, Dominants are “in service” every single day – they are in service to their submissives, to their Families, to their communities. If any Dominant out there thinks that he/she is not “in service”, they are fooling themselves. Either that, or they don’t know what a healthy relationship looks like.
When my child was born, we instantly entered a Master/slave dynamic. Trust me – I was NOT the Master in that one! That tiny little bundle of incoherent, mumbling, crapping, drooling, crying flesh ruled and consumed my every waking minute. Everything I did, I ultimately did for my son, and for a couple or three years or so, I was a slave. Or – as we are talking about “being in service” vs. submission – I was in service to my son. Because as those of you that know me will attest – I am a far cry from being any kind of submissive.
When I chose to volunteer for the AMP program as a member of the leadership team for three years, I was “in service” to my community. I continue to be “in service” to my community in a variety of different ways – and I don’t see that changing anytime soon. Anyone that volunteers their time and effort to various community projects and events is “in service” to their community; I don’t care which side of the slash you are on. This does not make me submissive.
Any Dominant that has a bottom-type of any kind is “in service” to his/her bottom-type. This is based on the simply fact that any healthy relationship is a 50/50 give-and-take; it really does not matter how it is structured. Both sides want to have their needs met, whatever those might be. If either side is not getting their needs met, then the relationship is likely to end.
Am I not serving my boy (submissive) by providing him with an environment that allows him to thrive and grow? Am I not serving my girl by teaching her to be confident and make smart decisions for herself? Am I not serving my slave by occasionally fulfilling his desires? If your bottom-type gets sick and needs constant care – are you, as a Dominant, not taking care of him/her? Aren’t you, in all actuality, serving him/her in their time of need?
I run a Household/Family, and trust me – I am “in service” to my Family. There are times when I have to make decisions and calls that are not rooted in what I want, but what is best for the Family. This is not always an easy thing, and often associated with some negativity and personal pain. However; I choose to ‘serve’ my Family the best I can, and that means – at times – putting Family needs first.
There are several Elders in my Leather Community that I would serve in an instant given the opportunity. Does that make me submissive? Hell no – that makes me smart! I would love to learn from these amazing people, and would be more than happy to serve them in return for not only their time, but also for what they have done for us in the past, and are continuing to do in the future by being willing to share their knowledge.
So – in closing – I absolutely do NOT equate “being in service” to being submissive. Those are two different things, although the are often found together in submissive personalities. However – you can also be one without the other… but that’s a different train of thought.
As always, this is my personal opinion, miles and manufacture differ from model to model.